piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
