Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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