I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
