Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
