PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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