okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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