Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
