Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
