We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your cock deserves a montage
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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