Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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