Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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