Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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