I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
