you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
bring money and cleavage
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
