Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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