I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
