And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
