On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
