I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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