she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
