Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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