hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
