I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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