i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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