they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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