So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I need moral support for this bender
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
