I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
