If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
