redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
