so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
