I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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