In the future we'll all be gay
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
