dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
