So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want to have your abortion
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
