If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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