Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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