I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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