how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
