Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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