i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
