Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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