Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
