I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
