First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
