"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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