We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
