That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
