At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
