I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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