another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
