Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
