I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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