I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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