The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
