That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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